iSavta | 19.10.2025

One of the hardest parts of working abroad as a caregiver is not just the physical work, but the emotional pressure of money. You send money home every month, and sometimes your family asks for more—for bills, school, emergencies, or personal needs. You want to help, but sometimes it becomes too heavy. You feel guilty when you can't send money, and arguments can start. This article will help you learn how to talk to your family about money in a calm, respectful, and honest way—without fights or guilt.

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Why Money Causes Stress in Families

Money is a sensitive topic, especially when you are far from home. Many caregivers don’t want their family to worry, so they stay quiet, even if they are struggling. But silence can cause misunderstandings. Your family might think you earn a lot because you work abroad. They don't see how tired you are, how high living expenses are, or how much you also need to save for your own future.

Understanding this helps you speak with more patience and honesty.

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Be Honest About Your Salary and Expenses

Some caregivers do not tell their family their real income. Because of this, family members sometimes expect too much. The first step is to explain clearly how much you actually earn and what you must pay for each month.

You can say:

• "My salary is this amount."

• "From this, I pay for food, transportation, phone, health insurance, personal needs, and savings."

• "This is how much I can send every month."

When your family understands your real situation, they are less likely to pressure you.

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Set a Fixed Amount for Remittances

Sending money without a plan can make you feel stressed. It is better to decide a fixed amount you will send every month. This helps both you and your family.

For example:

• If your salary is 6,000, you can decide to send 2,000 or 3,000 monthly.

• The rest is for your own needs and savings.

• Tell your family, "I will send this fixed amount every month. If there is an emergency and I can help, I will—but please understand if sometimes I cannot."

This creates clear expectations and reduces pressure.

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Learn to Say “No” Kindly

Saying no does not mean you don't love your family. It means you are also thinking about your future. When someone asks for money but you cannot help, answer with kindness.

You can say:

• "I really want to help, but right now I don't have extra."

• "I already used my budget for this month. Maybe next time."

• "I hope you understand. I am also saving for my future and our family."

Saying no with respect is better than saying yes and suffering silently.

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Encourage Your Family to Budget Their Money Too

Helping your family learn how to budget can reduce their dependence on you.

Guide them gently:

• "Let’s plan the monthly expenses together."

• "What can we cut or reduce—electricity, phone bills, online shopping?"

• "Can someone at home work part-time or start a small business?"

If everyone contributes, the pressure on you becomes lighter.

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Avoid Borrowing or Taking Loans Just to Send Money

Many caregivers fall into debt because they borrow money to send remittances. This is dangerous and can lead to bigger problems.

Remember:

• You are not an ATM.

• Your future is important too.

• Borrowing money to send home only makes life harder later.

It is better to send less but stay free from debt.

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Use Technology to Make Conversations Easier

Sometimes face-to-face video calls can be emotional. If you find it hard to speak, try writing a message or voice note.

You can:

• Write your budget on paper and send a photo.

• Make a simple list: Salary – Expenses – Savings – Amount to send.

• This helps your family understand without long arguments.

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Prepare for Emotional Reactions

Even if you speak kindly, some family members may feel sad, angry, or disappointed. Stay calm. Give them time to understand. Do not respond with anger. You can repeat gently, “I love you and I am doing my best.”

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Conclusion

Talking about money with family is not easy, but it is necessary. You are working hard abroad—not just to send money, but to build a better future. By being honest about your income and expenses, setting a fixed amount to send, learning to say no with kindness, and teaching your family to budget, you can avoid fights, guilt, and stress. Remember, taking care of yourself is also taking care of your family.